It's The Last Freakin Friday for this Year 2011 ..

Owhhh !!
It's almost the end of the year e____e
Errkkk shittt ~ Honestly im scared to go thru nxt year cos i barely have no plan how to continue my life after this year ='(
Seriously i can't do it !
i have NO MONEY to pay my collge fee cos this supposed to be my last semester but since i have not enough credit hours then i have to extend another semester !
Fuckk that college !!
I can't do it .. I CAN'T !!
Grrrr ~ 
Im soooooo MESSED UP !

.......

===>Difference between her and I? I would do anything for you and she would do anything with you.

"Why Not"

Hohohohooo 1st of all i wanna wish MERRY CHRISTMAS to all who celebrate it may have all the fun n joy with your love one ^_^
Okay ...
I got this weird habit where everytime i wanna do somethin silly i'll say to myself "WhyNot" LOL
Ahahaha i know it's sounds STUPID but yeah that's the way im havin fun with my life that already sucks ...
Well people said "Make things that you wanna do in life cos it somethin that you can never rewind" ...
So yeah im half american so american people always said that "We didn't make plan , We jst do" .. Tht's what im doin now XD
I know some people might thing im INSANE but
 "My cup of care, \_/. Too bad it's empty." 
No one can order me to do stuff in my life ...
I have the rite to live my life ...

#Tuhan tolong lembutkan hati dia #

My headline for today kinda .... erkk i don't  know .. but yeahh that's what exactly i wanna say here #
Well obviously we both has been together for like almost 5 months now ... I hope that now he knows exactly how i feels toward him ... I hope that he can see that i clearly absolutely in love with him and i can't imagine my life without him ...i know this relationship still in early stage but i don't know why i have this kinda feelings =')
I know i know im way down with this love stuff tapi he's knockin my heart ..EVERY TIME !
i can't resist him ... evryday i miss him ... even the second he left -.-'
God please tell him that I LOVE HIM ...
I can't force him to love me cos i have no right to do that .. only YOU can do it ...
So tell him .. let him know that im the one who can LOVE him completely ... unconditionally ... 
I wish he can see all that ... I hope that he can accept me for who i am like how i can accept him ... I LOVE HIM 
Ya ALLAH ... pleaseee please pleaseee guide him ... protect him always n never let him out of your sight ..
grant him your bless , make him happy ...
And let him know that i would do ANYTHING to make him HAPPY ...
ANYTHING just to see him SMILE again ...
His SMILE is more valuable than anythin for me ... If he's HAPPY then i'll be HAPPY too =')

Almost 5 months ...

Hahhhhhhhhhh *sigh*

Almost .... almost 5 month since august 16 =)
alhamdulillah i hope this will last forever ... but ... i don't want to put my hope too high ... takut jatuh nnt sakit gilaa ...
But i do really hope he could be THE ONE 
Cause he's the ONLY ONE who can makes me SMILE when my world has fallin apart =')
He's makes me believe in LOVE after i cursed that word before ... now he's tryin to show me what is LOVE is all about ...
I admit that i get jealous when he told me that his ex texted him .. the other gurls too -.-'
I hate it when gurls don't respect someone who's in RELATIONSHIP ... !
Still wanna try to get him by sayin that he should left me ..WTF i know ...
I HATE THAT SPECIES !!! GET LOST LAA BITCHES !!!
He's MINE and i OWN him !!! 

I Hope That He Could Be The ONE

I have waited for so long for a right guy to walks into my life ... I have met up a lot of wrong ones before and i admit it that i almost give up to be in the relationship anymore -___-
I know it sounds pathetic but yeaaahh it is ! 
But since JULY this year .. i felt it again ... LOVEY DOVEY stuff ni ... Lucky me i know XD
On 25 nov ary tu .. I went to TS to watch Twilight"Breakin Dawn" then after that we both headed to Wangsa Maju to have dinner with his parent and his brother *my classmate* ...
Then his parent drove me home ... huhuhuuu ~.~
He said somethin after the dinner when we both walked to the car ... He said "When kita nk jd mcm Bella n Edward? " then i said "Like Bella n Edward?? what u mean ?" .. "Ya laa get married and honeymoon and havin a baby.." and i was smilling like an idiot then "Erkk what .. you cant wait to become a dad or what??" he replied "I guess so" And i was like WoHOOOOOO !! >.<
I was super excited all of the sudden XD like a adrenaline rushin to my blood vessel ! I've never heard that type of talks with any of my Ex's before ... Do u get me ?? Do u understand what im talkin bout here ??? 0_o
I know i shouldn't put my hope to high on him but what else can i do ... Im in LOVE ... I know i hope to high , fall to fast , trust to easily , but i can't fight this feelings ... Everyone sayin that nothin last forever ... but i trust him .. eventhough i know he's not that 100% bein honest with me ... But i don't care ... I know and i believe he could be the one ... he'll be a great man one day ... my man <3 ...
I jst need to give him time to grown up ... be more patience with him ... I just know it ... 
I have faith in you baby ... i just do .. I know you'll never gonna read this but i hope you know that I LOVE YOU and i will never gonna leave you ...( Mark My Word ) 
You're my HeartBeat ... 
You're the BEST i've ever had in my life ... You're the only thing that can make me smile no matter how bad my day is ... i wanted our love as strong as Bella and Edward ... Will stick together no matter what happen ...
i just wish that >.<

I LOVE YOU 
BABY ...

November 24 2011 at 11.24pm

I FEEL LIKE CRYIN .... ='(
I don't really know why .. i know it's my brthday ...still for few mins more b4 12 ...
All i do today ON MY BRTHDAY is 
* Dtg college met up my bby and my frens ..
* Hang out at college for few hours ..
* Went to Pavillion (Hopin to watch TWILIGHT) but the timing is not right -.-'
* Watched the shop workers made candies at The Sticky (somewhere in Pavi)
* Went to BB waited my mom to fetch us to havin dinner together ...
*Dinner at the Steak House .. Somewhere in Kampung Baru (Mom , me , my bby , and one of our fren) The food pun xsdp sgt .. masin !!
* Sent them both at Hostel then headed back home -.-'


What a niceeeeee brthday of the year ever ..... 
Next time xnk laa celebrate lg It's okay .. It seems like it not that very IMPORTANT thing to remember right ...
I wanted a REAL BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION not just makan2 or hangin out n do NOTHIN !
What happen today is not what i EXPECTED as what it should be !
I wanted on my brthday , all the people who i love is there celebrating it with me !
YES I AM MAD RIGHT NOW !
YES I AM SAD
I AM DISAPPOINTED !!
For me Birthday should be somethin that you can CHEERISH for that year and be remembered for the REST OF YOUR LIFE !!


If you have THIS kind of thing yg you called CELEBRATION ... i think i pun rather not celebrate it ...

November 24 and 26 2011

Well this year i don't think my momma will celebrate my brthday cos no one is here plus my brother stay outside and momma will probably be busy that time =_=
We always celebrate mine evry year but this year im kinda havin this vision that nothin's gonna happen .. i guess so ...
But since my daddy's brthday is on the same month i guess i'll celebrate it too ='( Im totally miss-ing him like HELL ...
I wonder if he's still around my life would be much better ... He's my HERO ... i still remember when i was a kid he'll read me a story book mostly about FAIRYTALE one ... He told me that "sometimes fairytale does givin u hope to move forwards, but don't to rely on it , u gotta work it on urself" ... He gave me a lot of advise .. Well not to mention he's a Rock&Roll kinda man but he's a such wonderful , loving , caring , sweetest daddy i ever had ...
No one .. No one can ever replace him ! He used to told me " no matter what happen you'll always be my angel bby Em" yeah he call me bby Em .... But now he's gone but i know he's in the better place eventhough it's not here with me i know he's happy over there ^_^
Well daddy .. i'll be just fine here .. evrythin happen for a reason so i guess there will be a good reason behind all this ... 


I MISS YA DADDY <3
Sincerely from ur daughter ...

Sometimes, you have to be your own hero, because the people you can't live without can live without you.

Okay2 i know the entry  kinda too long but yeaa thst'a what i wanna talk about here ....Hurmm ...
It's true la kan sometimes you gotta be your own HERO cos sometimes no one can save you except YOU -.-''
well that's the most hardest part ever =P 
But trust me it'll help you to become stronger than you could ever imagine yourself could be ;)
Sometimes when you too depending on others like if you got BF , GF , BFF , BFFS or whtsoever you could never know how to stand up on your own feet ... it's like when they gone / walks away / etc ...
You jst like LOSt ya know ... I know how it feels like to be LOST trust me i do know =)
it sucks ! But then i learnt that bein INDEPENDENT is the most important thing ever ... So yeahh 
BE YOUR OWN SUPERHERO .. no need to buy any costume LMFAO XD

TENSIONNNNN !!!!

"Sometimes i wonder why God put me all through this . I guess it will make me stronger but right now , im just FALLING APART "
I don't know what else to think right now T_T my head is in a BIG MESS ... All i want is to be at the shore and wait till the sunset ... Beach makes me calm i don't know why ... Since i was a kid i LOVEEEEEE BEACH .. 
I really2 wanna go there .. tak kisah laa pantai kt mne pun asalkan pantai ='( 
Arghhhh i feel like .... like ... Urghh i don't know =.='
I just need a DAY OFF atleast ... It would be enuf ... Haihhh Struggle to much to survive can cause you Tiredness To The MAX !

Old Memories ..*(Update blog while eating)* ^_^

Hurmmm ...
Out of the blue im checkin bck all of my old post in my blog ... From the start till now 
When i read it back i realize how much i change as a person since i don't know ... I feel like urghh i don't know either ... I jst a lot different from what i used to be .. i feel like macam bace novel plak when i read those posts ... About life ade , love ade , confusion ade .. haihh macam2 laa ade ... I accidently terbace post about my EX ...I wonder what happen to him now ???  .. Dia dh x text emma dah ... Account lama dia pun dia delete then i found out dia buat new account .. well whatever laa .. he's my past so stay past laa kan ... Now i got whole future to plan .. Haihhh tu yg malas ni bukak cite lame ni adeyyy ... Solly2 guys -____-'
Dah terbaca nk buat macam ne kan .. so cite je laa adoiyaii nye pun =P Suke laa blog i jgk ...
heheehe......
Well my bby IM me ckp he wanna change this EMO gurl to Rock&Roll gurl ^_^ im excited and i think some1 will be proud too ehehe *ade la someone ne leyh bgtaw* Wink*wink* 
Wonder what will i look like when this whole transformation COMPLETE 0_0  Errkkk nervous plak rasenyer ... XD mcm2 la aku ni -.-'
Well this 30th Oct Halloween !!!! Im planning to do bbq party at my gurlfren place at that time .. we make up as whatever we wish for then havin this awesome bbq dinner then party ^_^ how's that ?? It must be AWESOME ^_^ can't wait for that laaa adeyy ....Hurmm then Christmas pun otw dahhh -.-''
HohOhOOO ... 

Dear Diary(AlilTinyHeartAttack & BOREEEEDDDDDD)... oct 21st 2011

He texted me jst now then he called at 10.20pm ... Kinda get a lil heart attack when he texted "Hunny we need to talk.." 
He always came out with this suspense sentence that kinda torturing me by giving me a heart attack !
Urghh -______-'
But the point is he said that "I wanted you to give ur 100% on ur life not me .. I want you to succeed ..is it wrong wht im sayin ??"
I replied " what are you talkin about ?" few mins later he called and said " Don't ya understand what i texted you jst now ?" i said " why suddenly you came out with that kinda topic ?" Surprisingly his friend who told him that ********* to him that's why .... Hurm no wonder ... Haihh the truth is its not like i put you in my 100% concentration list bby ... i know that my studies is important and i know how to separate between studies and personal okay ... So no worries =P 
For me studies is studies ... personal is different story ... But i wonder WHY suddenly you came out with this topic out of the blue 0_o
Sometimes you make me thinkin :
Did he get bored with me ??
Did im bein annoying ?? 
Is he goin to find others ??
Did i did somethin that make him kinda slow down with me ??
etc .....

Okay im start to talk crap here -.-''
But yeah have you guys out there ever feel what im goin thru rite now ?? Have you ??? Is this what it feels like when you hooked up with some1 ? Sorry cos i nver been soo fuckinly in love b4 so im kinda like don't know much bout this lovey-dovey thang =P
What am i supposed to do ? Arghhhhhhhhhh !!!! 
Seriously i need somethin that will make me high ... like ... CHOCOLATE !!!!
yeahh i need chocolate ... SYG pleaseeeee post me a chocolate now ... pleaseee im craving for it :'(
Hurmm wht else i did today -.-''
Nothin jst plain bored plus im the maid for the day duhhh .. Chores chores n chores ... Mood : BLISSed with the chores ..NOT !!!
ONline-ing all day ... Blog-ing .. Twitter-ing ...
Erkkk ... Im soo totally , absotively , posilutely , perfectly INSANE here .... Dying cos boredom fucked me evrytime 0_0 somebdy please save meyhh ..... !! When the hell i can moves out from here .. Come on this is prison -.-'' i can't even invite anybdy come down here ... WTF ! haihhh .. well tht's the thing when you living with your parent .. Rules is rules .. like it or not Deal with it .. Okay2 i get it T_T
But hey where's my freedom as a teenager ?! Curfew ? Chores timetable ? Nonononononooooo .....
Big NO for that all ... ! Haihhhhh .. i need a HOLIDAY ... A real HOLIDAY with the person who loves me the most -.-'' that would be GOOD ... Beaches thts all in my head by now :'( i need to go to the beach !

He Meant So Much To Me

This is my HEART =) well it's not in a real heart condition cos it has been stabbed , torn apart , crashed down , blahh blahhhh .. but hey i still functioning and now im giving it to you owh wait you already stole it from me =D 
Please take care of it okay jaga elok2 jgn sampai berhabuk or bleed =) and don't have to worry about yours cos i'll take a good care of it  <3
I don't want a perfect person. I just want someone who treats me well & loves being with me more than anything... Well i think i've found him .. He makes me smile thru this hard times that i had every bad moments .. He jst there (typing this sambil menangis)* i don't know how to say that I LOVE YOU to you to make you believe that i do ... i really really do ... 
"This is the problem with getting attached to someone, when they leave we just feel lost.." i felt lost when you decided to be alone that time ... i felt like my heart has been snatched out then has been threw away in a fire ... you don't know how hurt it is ... (cryin) .. It's almost 4 month since we've been 1st time talkin at the basement on July ... Then we've been hooked up on 16th August 2011 at BB infront of a life band...
This is the 1st time in my life someone who actually really really care about me and my life (smilling + crying) Honestly i never really met a guy like this before ... So i think you're the 1st one ... I never stop thinkin of ya since the 1st time we met until now .. i guess you're really mean so much to me more than what i should know ... Bby i never really know what it feels like to Fall In Love but know im sure that i am :)
You're there to light my day , you're there to guide me thru i never stop thinkin of you for all the things i've done and said and for all the hurt that i caused you i hope will forgive me baby cos that wasn't what i meant to do ... Im sorry :'( I'll never gonna forget the day we met and all the things that we did . You're the best thing that have ever happen to me ...Yeah im cryin cos what im typin now is all i wanted to say right infront of your face but i jst don't know how to -.-''  Things about me yang you can noticed is when you merajuk or xde mood i will jst keep quite kan ... Why?? simple cos i don't know how to pujuk2 ... if we fight or somethin i didn't mean to stay senyap or sengaja x nk ckp it's jst that i don't know what to say well that's me ... i rather stay quite then talk cos sometimes i know words jst gonna make it worst so that im afraid if i tersalah ckp or somethin then we end up xckp langsung -.-'' I hope you'll forgive me .. i know that im not perfect plus im not pretty , im not that skinny , and im not that tall as what you like ....trust me i even hate myself too -.-'' but that's jst me ...
You know sometimes im so fuckinly afraid of losing you sebab before this org2 yg i syg walked out when they're the one who promised not too ... im terrified okay nk buat mcm mna, well you can blamed the one before XD Dulu i couple pun semua sekerat jln je .. kdg2 ade yg x sempat nk celebrate anniversary pun -.-''(actually xpernah celebrate any of my anniversary with them pun) sdeynyer ... Semuanya bajet macho2 je mcm xbleh blah je XD 
Say laa whatever you wanna say after you read this ... Gila ke ape ke but this is what i do ... org nk jiwang2 pun this is my blog kan kann kannn =P  i promise to jaga hati you xkan kotor punyer XD
I know im x perfect but i'll try to be good enough for you ... you always be apart of me no matter what sebab awk je yg berani masuk dlm hidup saye yg mcm semcm ni -.-'' ...
Awk je la lelaki yg textin dgn momma ... selame ni pun saye couple dgn org2 tu momma x taw pun sape diorg ...
You're the one who can make me smile even jst when you x buat that *face* XD
but actually u do that *muka ikan* that's why la i x tahan nk gelak tgk muka you ... nk mara pun x jd dah XD
But baby i wanted you to know that you meant so much to me and i love you more than myself ...
How can i forget this thing that has been in my head =)  *I LOVE YOU*

Too Much To Think ...

If you say that you love me, I expect you to mean it. Same thing goes with I'm sorry, I miss you & I'll never leave.♥
I admit that i do really2 LOVE him so much ... I swear that i wanna spnt the rest of my life with him cos he's the one who makes me feel different in such a different way ... He's the ony one who can make me SMILE whenever i CRIED ... I <3 the way he makes me pounding inside ...I really2 don't wanna lose him cos he's my life and i can't bare to lose him this time ... I swear i love him ... Just this one thing im askin please don't snatch him away form me like what you did previous time ... i can't handle it ..
he's special to me and he's the one for me ... I <3 U bby !!! 

Damn ...

Hurmm ...

Honestly i don't know what to say cos i barely have no words in my head -.-''
But all i wanted to say is IM SO IN LOVE with him <3 <3 <3 <3
When we spent time together i can feel my heart skipped it's beats ... and it feels so right =)
You make me wanna jumpin up and down all the way .....
He used to asked me What Type Of Guy that i dig ...
Well honestly i have no type its just if i like that some1 then he's my type .. you got me ??
Well when im with him i feel soooo secure and i feel like i couldn't be apart from him ...
I miss his SMILE , his HUGS , his KISS , his LAUGH , everythin !!
I miss the time when we do stupid stuffs .. then laugh without no reason , screamin like hell ...
I miss all that .. 

All i ever wanted is you by my side forever ....
I promise that i'll try to be the best for you ... and i swear that you'll never be lonely cos i'll never ever gonna leave you bby .. i promise all this !

I miss the days when tying my shoes were the hardest thing to do. Now, it's learning to smile when everything inside tells me to cry

There's a story behind every person. There's a reason why they're the way they are ..
My life is not always like a fairytale .. It's more towards nightmare .. But somehow there's someone who willing to walk in it and want to be part of it .. Im GLAD ;)
But somehow the pain is still there but jst didn't feel pain as much as before ... kinda ease a bit ...
My life is a TOTAL MESS ... It's all bein ups and downs since like FOREVER ... And now i have no one else that i could turn to except all my BestFrends and my BBY ...
They all the reason behind my smiles .. They all the reason for me to be strong and face anythin tht came thru my way ... Im might be lost without them all  .. i <3 you guys soo much especially HIM ;)
Thnks for evrythin guys .. You guys is my strength to live my life .. Hope we'll stay like this way forever ... And i hope all the wishes i made at the Genting  may come thru ... 


Much Love
Emma Stevens <3

In This Moment ...

In this moment im cryin over missing him ... i know it sounds stupid but thts jst it :'(
Damn i wish him were here with me .... He's special for me .. thts why i told ya its all jst like a dreams to me .. Its too good to be true .. why he's bein so nice to me ?? willing to put a smile on my face ... Hinestly he knows how to makes me smile even when im cryin :)
He's soo fuckin sweet .. This is one of our photo together at Genting ...

He's stole my heart since the 1st time i actually met him at the basement <3 <3 <3 tht moment kept on playing on my head bby ...
i <3 u so much kay
will be update this again later ... im too tired now =='

My life at this stage ...

I used to feel scared to fall in love again cos i think they will jst eventually walk out of my life no matter how close we are   -_____-'

Im gettin hurt all over again in the past ... It hurts like HELL .. 

But now im learnin to except the fact that no matter how hard im tryin to deny myself from falling in love instead of fallin apart i kept on fallin for love ....

On July early this year ... I accidently met this one fine guy name R ...

We first met at the college basement ... He admitted that he actully like me when the 1st time we met ... LOVE IN THE 1st SIGHT ^_^

Hehehe actually me too =='

He shows me a lot about this LOVE things and he even taught me a lot bout LIFE ...

he's not only my BOYFRIEND but he's my BESTFRIEND too .. thts wht i like it ...

He's charmin and he makes me falling in love with him evrytime !

We're goin out for few weeks then he asked me out ... The declaration happened at BB infront of a live band ... We're jst sat there n watchin the show .. all of the sudden he asked me to hold his hand and he said ..

" Can i be your BOYFRIEND ?" ..

I .. i was shocked with my jaw opened .. i stuttered asked him .." You're jokin rite ??!"

Eventually he's not jokin -___-

For a few second later i said "YES" with a big smile on my face ... XD

I've been waitin for him to said that ... That's wht im wishin for at the fountain infront of Pavillion that day ! ^^

Im soo BLESSed !!!

Since that day we're happily together ... and last night on Sept 5th his family invited me to join them karaoke-ing with whole family at SOGO until 3am in the mornin ..

it was fun like HELL .... I'll never ever gonna forget that day in my life ... Im gonna rite a journal bout my life story with him .. who know someday my kids wanna know my lil story XD

P/s : i'll let my kids knows our love stories later in life ... I LOVE YA ALWAYS <3

Crazzieeee Time XD

Okey this is basically what i'll do when i got plenty of time at home ... XD

The ARABIC style =_='

Ahahhahaha i know i know but its fun ya know .. Some people do sumthin to fill in their free fuckin time so this is my way since i love to take pics so yeahh this is ME !

Well this one is when im havin a photoshoot with one of the photographer at my college ..

A million feelings, a thousand thoughts, hundreds of memories, all for one person.

THIS IS WHT IM TRYIN TO SAY TO YA ...

*I don’t care about your imperfections and your looks. I’ll take you for who you are as long as you do the same for me.


*Every girl wants to find the one she can be herself infront of; the one she can say anything to & the one she can laugh, smile and cry with♥


*I want to be the girl that changed everything, the girl that made a difference and the girl that gave you a story to tell.


*Before I met you, I never knew what it was like to look at someone and smile for no reason.


*Just for once I want to fall for someone that will be there to catch me.


*It's funny how you fall in love with the most unexpected person at the most unexpected time.


*No matter how serious life gets, everyone should have at least one person they can be completely stupid with and its YOU ..


*When I miss you, I re-read our old conversations and smile like an idiot.


*I love your smile, especially if I'm the reason behind them. (: <3


*Somewhere between laughing for no reason, making fun of each other & calling each other names.. I fell for you


*1 universe, 8 planets, 204 countries, 804 islands, 7 seas, 6 billion people & my heart still told me it's you.


*I wanna tell you that you mean all the world to me, and you've success changed my life.


* Thnks for willing to be in my life 


P/S : I <3 YOU 

I GoT bUtTeRfLiEs In My StOmaCh

Ngee ... yup it happens evrytime he's around me ;)
I know you probably thinkin that im totally into him well guess wht YES i am =)
And we're MADLY IN LOVE <3 
The sweetest thing is im starting off by calling him BABI instead of BABY but now it turns out to be BABY =)
I know i know .... Hehehe ~
He's nothin like wht i've been expected him to be .. He's makes me OPEN UP all over again .. I mean FALLING IN LOVE again ya know ...
He do what he said ... He never promised the thing that he not sure about ... 
PLUS he MEANT wht he has said =P
He called me evrytime even before he's goin to bed <3
Awwww GOD Im Fallin For Him ...
Urghhh .. I miss him all of the time =_=
and i have no idea WHY ?
He sweet nuf to MELT me ... 
I LOVE YA BBY <3
You're the ONE that i HOLD ON to
cos my HEART would STOP without ya ...

He makes Me feel Like ...

He knows how to makes me SMILE when im in the worst situation ever .. He knows exactly how to treat me rite ! The most important thing is he appreciates me more then u do .. He complete me .. Eventhough he's younger then me but who cares .. It's not about age it's bout how he carry himself , the way he live his lfe , the way he treated people around him .. He's not arrogant at all .. Very down to earth kinda person , he knows how to take care of himself plus he's independent type of guy which wht i've been lookin for .. He's the guy of my dream .. the one that i thought i couldn't find it in here malaysia .. Duhh but life prove me wrong .. there is such guy in here .. HIM .. So now .. I have him but not completely cos i don't wanna rush .. cos im still terrified .. i jst wanna take it slow .. wanna make sure that this is gonna work between both of us .. 
For me , when im in relationship with him later i wanna love him completely whitout thinkin over our past life ... completely move on then only we can proceed to the nxt level .. He makes me secure and i feel comfortable when he's around .. pretty much but , he makes my heart skip its beat .. Hard to breathe .. hehhehe
He's evrything i want ... <3 <3 


Here's one pic of us and our frens ;)

                                                 Hehhehe this moment captured at Pavilion ;)

11 hints for life

1. It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return.
But what is more painful is to love someone and never
find the courage to let that person know how you feel.

2. A sad thing in life is when you meet someone who
means a lot to you, only to find out in the end that it was
never meant to be and you just have to let go.

3. The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a
porch swing with, never say a word, and then walk away
feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.

4. It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose
it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been
missing until it arrives.

5. It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an
hour to like someone, and a day to love someone-but it
takes a lifetime to forget someone.

6. Don't go for looks, they can deceive. Don't go for wealth,
even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you
smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day
seem bright.

7. Dream what you want to dream, go where you want to go,
be what you want to be. Because you have only one life and
one chance to do all the things you want to do.

8. Always put yourself in the other's shoes. If you feel that it
hurts you, it probably hurts the person too.

9. A careless word may kindle strife. A cruel word may wreck
a life. A timely word may level stress. But a loving word may
heal and bless.

10. The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best
of everything they just make the most of everything that comes
along their way.

11. Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, ends with
a tear. When you were born, you were crying and everyone
around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die,
you're the one smiling and everyone around you is crying. 

If You Dare Enough To Be With Me ...

I have to tell ya somethin ... Since my dad gone , i've lost apart of me . Im not who i am anymore plus i don't even know who am i !? i've been abused brutally in my whole life .. i've been lied , i've been fooled , i've been played , taken for granted , has been left out , much more then you could ever imagine ...

My dad used to said that songs and life is connected , you can feel some1 else feelings by jst listening to their fav song ... he also said that i'll feel evrythin so deply after this .. so now , i understand wht he mean by that ...

He left me and let me feels all this pain alone ... Since then i learnt evrythin by my ownself .. One thing for sure is im scared .. scared to fall in love .. im scared if wht had happened to me happen again .. i jst don't exactly know how to love anybody else cos since i was a kid i've been showed hatred , grudge , madness .. i learn the word LOVE by myself .. no one ever show me wht its all about ... Just so you know , i've been hurt so badly and i don't know how long i can stand this .. cos i know im not that strong ... I feel like there's no one who's gonna wipe off my tears like my dad did ..If.. If there's some1 who willing to take chances by bein with me .. help me to find myself back .. im jst scared ...

EVRYTHIN I WANNA SAY IS IN THIS SONG ...

By This Time ...

Im feelin kinda LOST today .. I don't know something like makes me wanna KILL some1 ..
I feel so mad ... evrything went wrong =.=' IHATEITWHENITHAPPEN ... It sucks !
Owhhh some1 pleaseeeeeee help meyh ... ! i need to get this thing out of my head right away ... Well , i supposed to do a presentation for film buss today but .... Abd zali didn't come to college .. plus all the slides with him =.= !
Wht the heck the 3 of us wanna present about ?? without the slides ?! FUCK !!
See wht i mean ?? All i wanna say is FUCKKKKKKK OFFFFFFF !!!!!

Heyyy Hoooo.....

Okey last wednesday (jul 20th) until today saturday(jul23rd) i've been sleepin at his place (boys hostel) ..
he's bein so lovely ... he played/sing me songs wth his guitar ... That's is the guy that i've been wanted ...
eventhough he's gila2 but he's sweet ... i can't explain thru words bout this feelin .. It's jst such a true feelings .. arghhh im soooooo like in LOVE rite now .. i know .. Blame it on him .. LOL
He shows me wht life is all about ... We both kinda shared some same stuff tht happened in our life ... so basically we both know wht exactly it feels like to be US ... His house is at lvl 7 .. it's height of course but it's has these beautiful view from his balcony .. So we all kinda like sit at the corner of the window then sang outloud in the middle of 3-5am in the mornin ..LOL it was fun .. It was all beautiful .. he told me a lot bout how his life before .. he explain wht kinda person he is to me ... Believe it or not he's a rockers .. Rock and Roll type of person .. that's awesome :) 




 This is some of the songs that he played for me ...

sMiLe =)

You know that I'm a crazy bitch,
I do what I want when I feel like it,
All I wanna do is loose control,
But you don't really give a shit,
You go with go with go with it,
Cause you're fucking crazy rock-n-roll

You said hey,
What's your name,
It took one look,
And now I'm not the same,
Yeah you said hey,
And since that day,
You stole my heart and you're the one to blame,
Yeah.

And that's why... I smile,
It's been a while,
Since everyday and everything has felt this right...
And now,
You turn it all around,
And suddenly you're all I need, 
The reason why-I-I-I,
I smi-I-ile.

Last night I blacked out I think,
What did you what did you put in my drink?
I remember making out and then,
I woke up with a new tattoo,
Your name was on me and my name was on you,
I would do it all over again.

You said hey,
What's your name,
It took one look,
[ From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/a/avril-lavigne-lyrics/smile-lyrics.html ]
And now i'm not the same,
You said hey,
And since that day,
You stole my heart and you're the one to blame,
Yeah.

And that's why... I smile,
It's been a while,
Since everyday and everything has felt this right...
And now,
You turn it all around,
And suddenly you're all I need,
The reason why-I-I-I,
I smi-I-ile.

You know that I'm a crazy bitch,
I do what I want , when I feel like it 
All I wanna do is loose control,
You know that I'm a crazy bitch,
I do what I want , when I feel like it 
All I wanna do is loose control-o-ol.

And that's why... I smile,
It's been a while,
Since everyday and everything has felt this right...
And now,
You turn it all around,
And suddenly you're all I need,
The reason why-I-I-I,
I smi-I-ile,
The reason,
The reason why-I-I-I,
I smi-I-ile,
The reason why-I-I-I,
I smi-I-ile.

haihhhhhh.... -.-'

He called me twice today ... Cos i have ZERO credit on my cell ... He called jst to make sure that im OK or not ... Soo sweet .. Okey2 you might think that im sooooo falling in LOVE with one guy ... IS that so ??
Yea you got it rite ... It's just the beginning . I don't know what's gonna happen in the future so we both takin it slow ... I don't want to be so fuckin proud to tell ya that im probably in relationship cos w both didn't like goin out OFFICIALLY ... I wanna know him inside out 1st before hittin on the next level .. I don't wanna get hurt anymore Duhhh ~ 
I know i used to tell ya that im sick of relationship but now .. He came in .. Lights me out when i was in the dark .. Honestly in grateful nuf ... I just love the way he speak his minds out ..  LOVELY .. that's the word for him .. I don't care how he dress up cos i love all about this one guy ... He jst bein himself .. Hahhhhhhhh
I don't know what else to say ... All i can do is SMILE :) all the time ...