Snowwy

~ like when you like ~

Friday, April 29, 2011

Dear Diary....

Hehehehe....
I think...i think im starting to moving on =)
Cos im starting to like some1 again...I can reveal much about this one guy that i fancy but one thing for sure is he's older then me .. .. . He's not that typical cute guy basically not my type of guy but somehow....im kinda.... LIKE him ! Surprisingly i did...
Haihhh 
I don't know wht to do...Basically im still scared to fall in <3 thing-ing again...im scared gettin HURT , BROKEN HEART , and blah blahh blahhhhh.... i cant do it !
But i can't deny that i really2 like this guy . 
One thing that i keep on noticed about myself is whenever he's around , i will automatically will become this shy ==' , heart beating fast , probably it skip too many beep ... i think so lols , and i will get myself near him as possible as it can be =)
I know it sound silly from a gurl who jst get her heart broken few month ago but that's just it ..
i don't know wht i should do with this feelin ya know...I don't even know if he feel the same way too =='

Ok i think better i just keep it to myself =(
at least until one of us make a move...
I don't wanna make a stupid decision anymore seriously i can't take it 
We'll see what's gonna happen with this feelin next ...

 

Monday, April 25, 2011

Boredom Season -__-

Well this is me basically bein silly at 7th floor...ahahahahah no one else is there so i just on9-ing here all by myself =) hmmm
2mrw i will have shooting again at college -__- so tiring !
And jst now i saw one guy that i hate the most...arghh why i have to bumped to him today???!
haihhh too much problemo come to me now ==' until i dont know how to handle it anymore...it makes me feel like wanna givin up or sumthin...too many things to handle !!! i cant take this !!!

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Messing Up !!

LOLs ..
Tht is a total dorky title over there....ahahaha
But its not really im messing up with my life after breakup with HIM...Im still fightin with time and space cos im still stuck in the moment -__-
I STILL MISSING HIM ! and nothin my heart can do cos it want it that way ='(
Im sick of this...How long its gonna takes to make me feel better again???
Everythin that i wishes is crashin down..im scared...Im fallin apart ...Why this thing have to happen to ME?? Why not some1 else ? Why evrythin seems HARD for me???! 
I JUST WANT TO BE HAPPY LIKE OTHERS
i hate this....
im  tryin to be OKEY but it seems i cant make it.. i know cos i've tried..
evrythin that i thought it gonna be mine will walks out...
Why?? why??? why??? why???
Arghhh i can go insane if thinkin bout this whole thing!
Im LOST now.. and i know i need to find my way back home...
but i cant
i just cant do this...
Its just that evrythin that i do seems sooo WRONG! and i dont even know why..
All i can say it i hate my life...

Monday, April 18, 2011

This is HILARIOUS !!

Owhh yeshhhh !!
This one really2 tickles my belly off >.<
Well i got this one gurl who literally inserted sumthin bout me in her blog ...
Technically she doesn't wrote my name but yeaahhh it obviously about me tho....
It's soo FUCKINLY FUNNY when she puttin all the sentences all together ..it's like its gonna make your brains upside down =='
Bhahahahhaha i know cos i read it and yeahhh it's makes my eyes go centered too ..
LOLS 
You probably wanna read it too rite..but i think its not so appropriate to publish it here cos it might makes my blog dirty nahh i don't like that ..
Well its ok its your blog and its you rite to say whatever you desires to write in there i don't care okehh..
Btw i wanna learn how you TWISTED the whole story like that..
Seriously it's INTERESTING =)
Really2 caught my eyes ..Bhahaha!!!


P/s : I don't really care what people might think about me cos its your brain and not mine =P
      Btw you only know my name and not my story..only people who close to me know who i am ..
      It seems like people nowdays like to judges based on what they see =='
      Haihhh too many dramas ahahaha but its ok..THTS LIFE hmmm...
      I see a lot of things in my life and i don't know whats waitin infront of me .. the only thing i can do is
      JUST GO WITH IT no matter wht .. My dad used to said tht life is a lesson for you so jst learn evrything      that comes to your way ... 



Saturday, April 16, 2011

CanBelieveThis =='

Wow...
Wht a fast you make a move huhh gurl..like a speed of a light !
I jst breakup with him and you jst say "HI" to his another account that HE USED TO HAVE RELATIONSHIP WITH ME ! 
That's really2 impressing me tho..
You really2 want him?? Take him...take him as much as you want ! Cos why..he's not mine anymore ...It's jst i got this Burnin sensation in my chest until it makes me wanna slap your face !!! Arghhhh
Fuck Off laa bebb kalau ye pown nk kt my EX tggu laa lame sikit ... ni tak..
Huishhh OK i know you like him before but come on you're the one who don't want him cos he got PIERCING
Owhh come on !! If you really want stab me , stab me infront ok not behind duhhh..Wht a BRAT !!
I thought that you bein nice to me b4 is because you wanna get to know wht exactly relationship i have with him do ya huhh too many agenda you hiding =='
Fine....fine...take him...take him away from me... 

Friday, April 15, 2011

JustGo~

I trusted you
Yeah, that would be my first mistake
Yeah, I, I've been lied to
Your eyes are ice cold blue
A mirror of the heart inside of you

You can't walk back in my life
You had your chance to be by my side
I don't have to hear you cry to know

Just go
I gave you my word and I promised to love you
Go, it's over
You had your chance

Just go
There's nothing inside me that still feels connected
To you
To me you're already gone

I got a new love now, yeah
She's my new love now
And she loves me so
Takes me where you never took me
Although you tried too

Her eyes, they read so true
So different from the way it was with you

I don't need you in my life
Forgot what it's like to be satisfied
I don't wanna hear you cry 'cause I know

Just go
I gave you my word and I promised to love you
Go, it's over
You had your chance

Just go
There's nothing inside me that still feels connected
To you
To me you're already gone

Takin' a look at these photographs
Fightin' my tears and I try to relax
'Cause you came and you left
And it all went by so fast

Just go
I gave you my word and I promised to love you
Go
You had your chance

Just go
There's nothing inside me that still feels connected
To you
To me you're already gone

Just go
I gave you my word and I promised to love you
Go, it's over
You had your chance

Just go
There's nothing inside me that still feels connected
To you
To me you're already gone
To me you're already gone

I got a new love now, yeah, yeah
I trusted you
And that would be my first mistake


Monday, April 11, 2011

MyHeartache...


Sometimes I wish I had never met you. Because then I could go to sleep at night not knowing there was someone like you out there.

Everyone is always askin me whats wrong... but i dont even think it makes any sense, its just... my heart hurts

So.. i'll just try and let go and wait, and maybe in that time I will start to move on.. but that's gotta happen on its own.. i mean, as much as I'd like to.. i cant just make my heart stop feeling things that it wants to feel

I've gone through this before.. and thats why i dont get why this is so hard for me to deal with... iIts the simple fact that he just doesnt want me like i want him, i guess, maybe, its so hard because for a while there.. he made me feel like he did... maybe thats the difference.
well, the tears are starting to slow down now.. but the pain, however, remains constant





"You hug him good-bye like it's nothing... while all you want to do is hold on forever...but you let go, smile and walk away... then cry all the way home because you know it will never be the same... because try as you might you can't make someone love you, sometimes you have to let them be free... and letting go, that is when love hurts the most of all."

Look at me through my eyes and feel the pain I hide inside.
It breaks my heart; it makes me sad to think of all the times we had.You made me laugh and you made me cry. And all that I can do is sigh,and wonder why.

You hug him good-bye like it's nothing...while all you want to do is hold on forever...but you let go, smile and walk away... then cry all the way home because you know it will never be the same...because try as you might you can't make someone love you,
sometimes you have to let them be free...and leting go,that is when love hurts the most of all

A heart is like glass,dropped once,broken forever,and even if the pieces finally get put back together,it will never ever be the same again.

I wish I could walk away and forget what we have,but I can't,because I know you won't come after me,and I guess that's what hurts the most.
When you are in love and you get hurt, it is like a cut--it will heal but there will always be a scar.

You told me that you loved me; I started tearing down those walls. I really started to trust you, but you set me up to take a fall.

I wish I had the guts to walk away and forget about what we had. But, I can't because I know you won't come after me, and I guess that's what hurts the most


I've accepted the fact that we can't be, but I've also accepted that you're going to be that one person I carry with me for the rest of my life, the one that is always going to make my heart jump a little and my stomach tie up in knots no matter how happy I am otherwise.. no matter how long its been

Even though I've "stopped liking you", every time someone mentions your name my head turns right toward them. Its like every time I hear it, I think of all that we could have had, and all that could have happened that didn't

Even now when I have come so far
I wonder where you are
I wonder why it’s still so hard without you
Even now when I come shinin’ through
I swear I think of you
And how I wish you knew
Even now
I'm gonna smile
'Cause I want to make you happy
Laugh, so you can't see me cry
I'm gonna let you go in style
And even if it kil
ls me 
I'm gonna smile


My heart keeps callin
And I keep on fallin
Over and over again
This set story always ends the same
Me standin in the pouring rain
It seems no matter what I do
It tears my heart in two




Sometimes i just dont understand
Why i am so different...
Why cant i be just like everyone else
and accept that nothing is forever
Why cant I figure out everything changes
and to go with the flow
Why havent i realized I'l find someone new
and never feel so much pain
Why didnt i learn, to live life with a brand new start..
why am i so different....
why am i still crying at night for all that he is..
why do i search for words that wont mean anything to him
why dont i understand that love was a waste
and he doesnt love me










LetterJustForYou

Hey...
1st of all i would like to say IM SO SORRY cos i deleted you from my friendlist =(
I thought i could handle it but the truth is no matter how hard im trying to be OK i end up WORST
its hurtin me so bad
Seriously i don't wanna hate you cos for me Breakup don't have to end up UGLY..
Maybe we can be friends but not for now..Let me fix myself..
I need time .. You may move on with your life and don't have to worry bout me cos i know I WILL BE FINE..
I just need to set my mind back to whats the most important things in my life...
I don't wanna be grieving like this forever .. this is pathetic for me =(


You just go ahead with your life don't have to think about me anymore okey 
I know you must be wondering by now why im doin this ? , why i deleted you ? , wht is your fault ? , etc ..
No its not about all that .. Im doin this for myself ...
ya know what im tired of crying over the thing that i don't even know what.. Call me CRAZY if you want to i don't care cos that's me ..I feel evrythin so deeply cos why? cos i've been go thru hard time in my past so i take evrythin in my life SERIOUSLY ...
Yeah i thought you would be the last person who gonna do me like that but i was totally wrong =='
I should take more precaution next time =)
I'll find you when im totally get over you  okey .. 
Im so sorry i have to do this .. i just can't take this now.
I need to get back on my track ..
Im sorry ='(
Bye ... 


ThatShouldBeMe !

Everybody laughing in my mind
Rumors spreading bout this other gurl
Do you do what you did when you did with me ?
Does she love you the way i can 
Did you forget all the plan that you made with me ?
Cause baby i didn't...
That should be me holdin you hand
That should be me makin you laugh
That should be me this is so sad
That should be me , that should be me
That should be me feelin your kiss
That should be me receive your gifts
This is so wrong
I can't go on 
Till you believe that , 
That should be me... That should be me..
You said you needed a lil time for your mistakes
It's funny how you use that time to have me replaced..
Did you think that i wouldn't see you out at the movies
Whatcha doin to me
you're takin her where we used to go
Now if you're tryin to break my heart
It's workin cos you know that..
That should be me holdin your hand
That should be me makin you laugh
That should be me this is so sad
That should be me... That should be me..
that should be me feelin your kiss 
That should be me receive your gifts
This is so wrong
I can't go on
Till you believe that
That should be me..


I NEED TO KNOW SHOULD I FIGHT FOR OUR LOVE
OR DISARM ??
IT'S GETTIN HARDER TO SHIELD THIS PAIN IN MY HEART !


That should be me ya know...
And this is so SAD  ='(



Sunday, April 10, 2011

His Words Woke Me up..

Yes.. The words that he texted me on few days ago did woke me up from my own dreams...
he wrote ' Mne leyh pakse2! ' cos that time i was forced him to have his dinner ... its true tho.. Who am i wanna forced him to do anythin..Im not his gurl anymore . So started from that day i stopped replying his texts anymore..Life must go on EMMA..
He's not even worth it .. plus he's a loser..he let go sumthin good in his life...
you will not losing anythin emma !! Huhhh..
Btw you'll meet your PRINCE CHARMING someday .. And he'll never gonna do you like he did ...
and both of you will live HAPPILY EVER AFTER =)

This Moment ..

We can never turn back the pages of time, though we may wish to relive a happy moment, or say goodbye just one last time, we never can, because the sands of time continue to fall, and we can’t turn the hourglass over
Walks away is easy to be say but so hard to get it done .. The things that you're leaving behind is whats hard enough to let go and set it free cos you're gettin comfortable when its around .. But when it's not , you'll feel this EMPTY , LONELY .. 
If i decided to walk away from this thing .. That space that used to filled with that LOVE thing-ing will be EMPTY .. It'll be nothin in there tht's wht scares me off ..
Im confused .. i don't know what to do anymore...I can't go back and i can't move on.
I don't know what is goin on with me .. 
I think rite now im strong enough to deleted all his messages on my inbox , i even deleted him from facebook..
i could not trust him anymore...he broke my heart somehow and how can i forget that ...
i'll never can't ....

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

I've Tried To Live Without You..

Dad..
i've tried..i've tried so hard to live without you for years ... The tears fall from my eyes dad .. I MISS YOU SO MUCH ! If .. If i could have just one wish i had you by my side ..
Im sorry dad it has to be this way for you.. Sometimes when i stares at my window at night..i can hear you say "I MISS YOU" I never want to lose you and if i had to i would choosed you..
You're the one that i hold on too cos my heart would stop without you daddy ='(
It's gettin harder everyday...I cant do this .. Im not strong daddy .. I NEED YOU NOW !!
I love you more than i did before .
Im alone and i feel EMPTY daddy.. God im torn apart inside ='(
I NEED YOU DADDY!!! PLEASE DONT LEAVE ME!!
Please say you LOVE me more than you did before ... PLEASE....
PLEASE STAY DADDY..
Remember i used to told you that my heart would stop without you??
Now it stop dad..i feel totally left out..EMPTY !
Mommy always flipped out on me , my life is in miserable , college problems , boyfriend walks out , friends stepped me up .. PERFECT ! 
What a PERFECT life i have ='(
I just need a normal life like others daddy .. I wonder why my life bein like this ..
Why its hurting me a lot ?! what did i do ? what's my fault??!
I wish to see your face again daddy ='(
I really2 wish that ..
I hope you're doin fine over there daddy .
Daddy...I MISS YOU..............

Understand wht is LIFE ?

Life is a LESSON 
Life is a JOURNEY
Life will teach you how to be PATIENCE
Life is wht you'll LIVE IN
Life is full of SURPRISES
Life is wht you MAKE IT
Life is full of FAKERS
Life is Past n PRESENT
Life is not Long and too Short either 
Life is choosing the  RITE PATH 
Life is your OWN
Life is like a JIGSAW PUZZLES 
Life is a DESTINY
Life is a FATE
Life is your DREAMS