H A P P Y ...

HAPPY ... Do any of you know what the heck is that means ? A lot of people assume that if you feelin HAPPY by showing ur teeth .. I mean (smiling/laughin) but that still not 100% guarantee that that person is actually feel HAPPY rite ... She/he probably just pretending or sumthin who knows ... So i think better just don't simply assume someone when you don't know their stories OK .. Look into their eyes and im pretty sure you can know if she's lying or not cos eyes is not good at lying .. i just wanna know How You Define HAPPY .. In ur own words of course ... Its open to all obviously lol .. Any opinion will be accept .. 

Many faces that we can't guess behind a beautiful smile or laugh ..

  A SMILE can hide thousand of feelings ... 

KaRmA ~

Weren't you the one who said that you don't want me anymore ..
And how you need your space and give the keys back to your door
And how i cried and tried and tried to make you stay with me ..
But still you said your love was gone and that i had to leave..
Now you.. Talkin bout a family..
Now you...Sayin i complete your dreams..
Now you...Sayin im your everythin...
You confusin me what you say to me
Don't play with me don't play with me cause..

What goes around comes around
What goes up must come down
Now who's cryin desirin to come back to me !

When you came around you'd always have some sorry excuse..
Half explainin to me like im just some kind of a fool
I sacrificed the things i want just to do things for you
But when it's time to do for me you never come thru...
Now you..Wanna be up under me...
Now you..Have so much to say to me...
Now you..Wanna make time for me...
What you doin to me
You confusin me don't play with me don't play with me ..

What goes around comes around

What goes up must come down

Now who's cryin desirin to come back to me !

It Makes Me Cringe And Erkk~

Huhhh i really got headache thinkin over this one thing over and over again... Really caused me HEADACHE !
Is it i have this sexual attraction to guys or sumthin ??? Am i dressed up too sexy ? LOLS i dun think so ...
But why evereytime i got close to any guy they'll say some annoying things to say ever ..like ok for example :
I got a dream bout both of us ..kinda kissing =_____________=
Wht the heck is that man ... Really2 annoys me and don't think after you said that thing to me i'll treat you the same like b4 you even say it... ok.. Cos it's really2 will makes me feel awkward to talk to you again .. Seriously wht makes you think im goin to be the same person after that stuff you said to me dude?! Dream on ! I just can't handle this ... DAMN yaw ... Just wanna be frens and if im interested in you(whoever you are) you'll know it ...
Just .. Arghhh!!! FUCK man .. It makes me feel EEEEuuuuWWWWW! ya know that !... Come on is that how short minded you are ??! Yes im pissed off rite now !...
I hate stayin here yaw ... I just wanna go HOME ...........

Okey....

First of all ....


WHY NOW ALL MY EX FROM MY PAST LIFE COME BACK AND SEARCHIN FOR ME???


Dont you have other things to do besides messing around with my life..Dude seriously wht the heck you want from me huh??
Did i owe you sumthin?? I think i dont have anythin to do with you all okehh ..
Okeyyy2 enuf bout that topic...Got headache if i keep on talkin bout it ...


Well .. When the holiday started i got this job to become an actress for one of my frens "Silent Movie"
So in it i've been this gurl who has been raped by drunk peeps...
Kinda nice story line without a dialogue...
its my 1st time attempt bein that character...Its nice sumtimes trying new things...
I really2 enjoy it...


Btw... I feel so guilty that i cant be around my gurl .. She's so depressed by now..i really2 wanna be there for her ..Haihhh bebb why laa u too far??
Hurmmm...............................
Its ok darlin...I'll be here if you need me...ALWAYS !


Hmmm... Right now...I saw so many cute guys in my way :)
Huk3...We'll se how it goes ok...Shall we.....


WAITNSEE~

Tiring semester =____=

Hmmmm... i think if i continuing doin this.. i'll have no time to think about havin a Boyfren kn2... Mcm nie baru best.. keje2 no time for boys .. If ade , means ade laa then if xde means xde laa ... EASY !
No need to find them .. Let them come :) 


People saying Moved On is like a simple words fro them ... 
To doing it is the toughest job ever in the world when the person  you're leavin behind is the person who has stole ur heart n you never really get it back...

I wish I had a DELETE button in my life. To delete somebody, some memories, and some feelings.


Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections.


Life is about trusting your feelings and taking chances, losing and finding happiness, appreciating the memories and learning from the past.

Oh Dang !

Okeyyyy....
Im finally got this kinda feelin again =_=
Where i couldn't sleep at night , smilin for no reason , daydreamin , laughin n blah2...
I hate it cos i know usually i will end up cryin for the same damn thing !
But ... But i kinda like this one person =)
I think yea.. i like him !
Huk3.... But im x sure if he ever feel the same way.. its ok i'll just keep this feelin to myself ..
Better then havin a heart broken AGAIN ..




But sometimes i still can't figures this out 'Why my ex cross my mind ?' 
I did ter-accidently called him last 2 nights ago .. And he even texted me and said 'You called me last night? sorry i already slept that time . i just topup ' 
.............................
Then i replied him ' Owh u just topup? well my credit is low so can't text you..soory for called you last night.. i don't even know why i did that ..'
...............................
Then he replied ' Hrmmm, its ok later when u already topup just text me back'
..................................
................................................................
..........................................................................
I didn't reply him -_______-
How supposed it happened like that !
I just seems like can't get over this one guy T____T damn !
When is this torturing will finally be OVER ??
I can't take it anymore..




...................................................................................................




I will be fine ! i will ! with or without a boy by my side will not be a problem to me !
I still have my awesome daddy , awesome gurlfrens..(Athirah Rosmi) is the one that i love the most !
And my kitties !
I believe that God is saving me a BEST BOYFRIEND  ever in the future... Who knows .


I'll be waitin ..........

After a while ...

Seems like when you're single, you want a relationship and when you're in a relationship, you want to be single


This is what i feel in the moment of time... But some says :
Don't worry if you're single. God's looking at you right now, saying, I'm saving this girl for someone special.


But There so many FAKE people around nowadays... it's hard to trust anybody ... 
How can i trust anybody when i've been lied too many times =='
Im scared.. But honestly i kinda like someone ..


I think better if i just keep it to myself for now ... 
Until atleast im sure he got sumthin for me too ...Eventho he's a lil bit older tp who cares bout age kn2..
N evntho he's not that cute but i just fall in <3 evrytime he dis sumthin for me eventho its just a simple thing ...
Im impressed by the little thing he did until he can make it special... but he's a lil lazy ... sometimes =='


PLUS .. i found a guy who look like exactly like my used to be best fren ... I <3 his hair.. and i can noticed he kept on lookin at me ... Until my gurlfren noticed it too =='
We bumped each other usually at lvl 6 (college) har3....
I cant wait to see him again ==' haihhh thats why i mls nk couple2 skunk ni sbb nnt i will meet more guy and i'll jacked up and end up bein regret bcos i hook up with a wrong guy .. eeee xnk laa mcm tu...
For the time being i wanna be free and flirting with anybody i want ...
Myb this not the time im havin a relationship with some1 lg kot ... Cos God knows im x ready yet ...
And after wht had happened before makes me afraid to have do it again .... not now...
Na'ahh ... lols...
But i'll try to enjoy my life as a single with no String Attach to anybody har3.. sounds fun >.<


P/s : to anyone who i kinda rejected Im so sorry i just can't lie to myself by tellin lies to all of you ... i just cant take any relationship right now... Even if you read those thing up here you can even see how unstable my life is ... I will like , flirt or fall in love with anybody ... im x sure ok... but eventho we cant be lover doesnt means we cant be frens ... but please dont give that one look when you look at me and that one kind of talkin way ..- you know what way -
its just gonna make evrything AWKWARD just so you know i can know how frenly look and one kind of look ok... i can know that ... so better DON'T .. if you feel like you can't handle it .. i suggest you to just walk away ... don't make me CONFUSED ... i don't need it .. THNKS ~

why now?

Haihhhh that gurl keep on callin me since yesterday man....what else she want?? did dhe didnt puas after what she did before !
i just hate her and i can't even face her...if she's infront of me right now i'll just chopped off her head!!!
i just don't want to have anythin to do with her anymore laa..ishhh!
she jst broke my heart ... and i can never forgive her...myb not now...not this time...!
Im sorry aly tp u hurt me !

What's in my head by this moment...

LOVE , BETRAYAL , LIAR , EMPTY PROMISES , BROKEN HEARTED , PAINFUL LIFE , RUNAWAY , GUYS , MY CRUSH , MY EX , MY LIFE , COLLEGE WORKS , FINAL PROJECT , TIME OF MYSELF , ALONE , HURT , FAIRY TALES , WHY , WHY , WHY , WHYYYY ???


These all keeps on playing in my head all over again like a broken record =='
Evrytime i felt a lil bit ease and atleast happy for a moment .. there will be something will grabbed it off from me !
There's nothin goin right in this house anymore ... i can't stand to stay here till i feels like wanna runaway from here and go as far as i can go and will never gonna return back here !
I hate how my mom treated me since i moved here ... She just never ever tried to appreciate ANYTHIN that i do no matter what ... She don't even say THANKS when i did the things that i did without my will . Well i think that's her problem , she can't say THNKS cos that words is too hard or sumthin i don't know...
Why me have to go thru all these ? This is DAMN HARD !! 
I feel like i will not gonna be happy forever coz i've seen what happened to my family..It's made me terrified and scared to love anybody else...
They both makes me feels like i could not trust anyone including my ownself ... Im just scared i'll get hurt all over again ! i don't want it and i don't even need it cos i already have it with me ..
If anyone ever confess to me about their feelin again(depends on who's askin)... Im soooo sorry i have to say no if i not have the same feelin as the one who like me ..Im just so sorry i can't lie to myself and tell that i love him even the truth is im not ... Im not that kinda person who will pretend to love somebody that i don't actually in love with ... Cos i know how hurt it feels like when someone who we love actually pretending to love us ... 
Love cannot be force it's like you controlling yourself to who you should fall for...
My mom always say im living my life like a ROBOT cos evrytime she yelled at me to do somethin(without askin it nicely) i'll do it right after that ... I feel like i wanna screams off her face and says : You're the one who makin me like this and now you wanna blame me for what you have been teachin me for all these years since i moved here and life with you ???! Im tired hearing you complainin whatever i did for my own life ! You never be there when i need someone and whenever im alone ! All you know is keep on yelling at me for no reason , call me a liar , compare me with other like im not perfect enough ...
You makin me feel like im just your burden ! If i am your burden then if one day im movin out , don't ever come and find me anymore you get that .. i don't care who you are anymore... You just hurting me alot !
And you never think what i felt cos you never even bother to know how's my day and evrything about  me.. YOU JUST DON'T CARE !!! All you care about is MONEY and MONEY and how perfect you thought i should have been !! And now i think you just regret cos i never be what you expected me to be ... Well you raise me that way mom...
And now i wanna say thnks alot cos you have brought me into this world and let me to be a broken hearted gurl...I just wanna hate you if i could ! but i can't no matter what you still my mother ...
I just want you to understand me and i want you to be the one who wipe off my tears whenever i cries...
I just need to hear you say that 'Evrything's gonna be ok cos im here for you and i proud of you ' ...
I know it's just in my dreams i'll hear you sayin that to me...It's just impossible..
Even tho you're the one who brought me in this world but you never did raise me.. But you handed me to your parent(my grandparent)..They understand me better then you do mom....You just will never know me ! Even in the eyes of other you are my mother but the truth is you are not to me... My mother will never called me a liar ! my mother will never shouted at me to do whtever she want me to do ! and my mother will never do me like the way you do me !!! You just will never be my MOTHER ...

Since he left..

Honestly and surprisingly im still alive ..
Im still can put it off from my heart...Plus when he left many guys tries to walks in my life by askin me out with them...but just one thing i have to say...Im x ready for this whole relationship stuff rite now....I just wanna enjoy bein single and migle evrywhere...honestly i already like sumone else but im x sure if he has the same feelin as me or not...haihhh


Im confused !!!! 
dont make it more complicated pleaseeee !

In mY hEaD sAys...

Maybe i'm over you , 
Maybe i've moved on , 
Maybe i like someone else , 
but Maybe i'm a Perfectly Good Liar !


Why is it when i feel like i'm Almost Complitely over you... 
Somethin happens that makes all my feelings come rushin back ?


AlL i WaNt To Do Is AbLe To LoOk At YoU aNd NoT fEeL tHe PaIn Of The MeMoRiEs Of ThE tImEs I oNcE kNeW...


II think what hurts the most is having this picture of what we COULD BE and SHOULD BE...


Its so easy to say I'm fine without you , 
But deep down inside I'm hurt and i pretend I'm alrite , 
Because you're doing fine without me :'(


I JUST WANT A REAL RELATIONSHIP..
JUST LIKE ON THE MOVIES THAT'S ALL....

Bein misunderstood ... AGAIN =='

The story is actually im bein friendly to anybody..
Doesn't matter guy or gurl...i treated both as the same ...
But mostly guy will misunderstand this cos myb then don't have any friend like ME b4... Im half american so im open to anybody... Well i think myb cos i always kinda close to them almost evrytime at college but it's not more then just Best Fren... For me , that's how i bein fren to anybody =..=
But i think from now onward no 'So Close' to any guy anymore ..I can compare here and NY ..my bad too =(
Now i have no idea wht should i say to him  cos he already confessed his feelin to me just now ..Owh God...
Why this thing have to happen?? ishhhhh.....
Im confused !!!!!!
Can you please please don't make my life COMPLICATED !

My Type Of Guy ?

Hmmmm...Such a interesting question ..
Huhhh okey2... Hmmm my type of guy would be one guy who knows how to TOUCH A GURL 
hmm.. ROMANTIC , wht else..owh yea..HOTTIE  is a bonus.. ok let say if i got one hottie but he have no heart -_- it will means nothin but if he got heart it will be sumthin riteeee ? =)
Then , i <3 LAIDBACK kinda guy..i dig it ! i have no idea why but fir me if guy with laidback style is sexy cos he will not bother about anythin that didnt have anythin to do with him at all ... he will just do his own stuff...i <3 it so muchhhhh!
huk3 but i know its hard for me to find this kinda guy nowdays =..=


Owhhh my Prince Charming...where the hell r u ? *sigh*
I've been waitin for you for so long =..= 
until i met so many wrong type of guy :'(
And i got my heart broken so many times .....
I need you know .... pleaseeeeeee =)

OMGEEEEE~ im in <3 with this man !!!! Jesse Mccartney i <3 u !!!