HeyhEy ...

Im sooo miss ya lil Diary ...
Okey2 new thing bout meyh is im currently single and not lookin for anybody yet .. but somehow lotsa guy come to my direction now =) i should say that i should be thankful duhh .. i am btw ..
Well since they comes in .. i've already make a boyfriend list ..LOLS..
 But there's only one guy that caught my attention among the rest ... i already put in the his pic here :

Here he is .. his name is Nathan .. and his same age as meyh .. His good lookin for meyh , love to cook , reading novel , kind , sweet , and i don't know .. its like somthin bout him that makes me wanna know him more ... ya know ... people say don't put your hope too high or else you will end up fallin so hard ... so yeaa i'll not gonna puts on hope on anythin for now .. myb jst get to know each other 1st ... :)

TheStoryOfUs ..

I used to think one day we'd tell the story of us
How we met and the sparks flew instantly
People would say they're the lucky ones

I used to know my spot was next to you
Now I'm searching the room for an empty seat
'Cause lately I don't even know what page you're on

Oh, a simple complication
Miscommunications lead to fallout
So many things that I wish you knew
So many walls up, I can't break through

Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room
And we're not speaking
And I'm dying to know, is it killing you
Like it's killing me

I don't know what to say since a twist of fate
When it all broke down
And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now

Next chapter

How'd we end up this way?
See me nervously pulling at my clothes and trying to look busy
And you're doing your best to avoid me

I'm starting to think one day I'll tell the story of us
How I was losing my mind when I saw you here
But you held your pride like you should have held me

Oh I'm scared to see the ending
Why are we pretending this is nothing?
I'd tell you I miss you, but I don't know how
[. From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/t/taylor-swift-lyrics/the-story-of-us-lyrics.html .]
I've never heard silence quite this loud

Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room
And we're not speaking
And I'm dying to know, is it killing you
Like it's killing me

I don't know what to say since a twist of fate
When it all broke down
And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now

This is looking like a contest
Of who can act like they care less
But I liked it better when you were on my side

The battle's in your hands now
But I would lay my armor down
If you'd say you'd rather love then fight

So many things that you wish I knew
But the story of us might be ending soon

Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room
And we're not speaking
And I'm dying to know, is it killing you
Like it's killing me

I don't know what to say since a twist of fate
When it all broke down
And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now
Now, now

And we're not speaking
And I'm dying to know, is it killing you
Like it's killing me?

And I don't know what to say since a twist of fate
'Cause we're going down
And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now

The end

Grey's Anatomy ...

You probably wondering why i came up with this topic about Grey's Anatomy do ya ???
Well i watched this drama last few days and i think i've learn something valuable from it .. Seriously ..
I think in episode of 'Can't Fight Biology' .. Well from wht i've watched Meredith and Derek recieve some disturbing news from the obstetrician tht caused her miscarriage her baby .. then Meredith decided to take out her blood for the lab for Alzheimer test ..Her mom is dead because of it ..  She discussed it with her husband Derek then Derek is disagree because he don't wanna know if his wife have it or not ...He just wanna have every moment in their life without thinkin about biology .. he want her to enjoy life without worrying about something else .... ya get it wht im tryin to say here ....or you guys still blank ???

TheThingsThatHappenedToMefewWeeksPast ...

I had so much goin on this crazy week ... I don't even know how the hell i can still smiling all the time -_-
I have to find 2,450k for resit my exam papers .. I have failed 3 papers in one semester .. I still can even laugh bout it ... i don't know what else to do , seriously i can't put my mom in this messed .. she'll pissed off like a volcano if she found out ! I have no place to turn to now ... it's like i have to settle it on my own ... I used to think it's jst better if i cuttin myself again cos honestly im scared ... I can't go on .. Im stuck you get it ! i can't graduate  if i didn't resit my papers ... Why all these happen to me !!! i had so much trouble in my entire life and seriously i can't take it ... it's jst better if i die ya know .. I already caused so much trouble to my mom and i don't want her to go thru it again ... Im jst her burden ! I even have no dad to asking for help ... I have no place to turn to and i obviously don't know what should i do now ... I jst need some Miracle to happen like 1k fallin from the sky or a billionaire willing to help me ='( ... that would be so much helpful .
Im goin insane if these things keep on happenin ... i could check in the mental hosp for mental breakdown ...
I don't know how i can survive till now ... Goin thru my life is not so pleasant ... Nothin much good happens in it ... All i can list out is all the painful stuff that happened in the past and present ... But i know somehow my dad would be lookin down from Up there and probably he sayin " I know my daughter is strong enough to go thru every obstacles that comes on her way .. I have my faith in her ! I know she can pass it .. She will be jst fine " but i don't know how .. how to handle this .. I've made a messed ! Im scared .. Im scared if she finds out and ............................... I'll be dead meat !!!!! I jst wish if and only if i can turn back time and redo all my mistakes ... i think Sometimes all I can do is lay down, and cry myself to sleep, I'm okay with that...

Don'tSayThatYouSorryJustSoYouKnowYourSorryMeansNothingAnymore

Huhhhh ~
This one typical F**** kinda guy always find a way to bothers me ! Im fed up of him ok .. Plus he kept on sayin that he's sorry ... Dude ur sorry means nothin after all the LIES that you've shove all over me ...
That trick will not give me any effect duhh ~
What a PITIFUL boy ... =P
this one boy is so fuckin irritating me ! he got his ownself fuckin life Why wanna bother mine ?? He's the one who walked out and now beggin to stay as so called fren or whtever ... my answer NOT EVEN IN UR DREAMS =P
Arghhh he's anoyyin ! Grrr ... Until i feel like i wanna kill him or sumthin ..
Okey2 you might be wondering wht the heck im talkin bout in here do ya ??
It's actually one of my Ex bothering me again ... Wht you feel after he left you then he find you to bother your life when you're totally get over him ?! Isn't it this Madness , Irritates , Annoys , Etc Unwanted feelin come rushin thru ur veins .... !
That is exactly what i feel now ..... 
He really2 puttin words in my mouth .... Shitttttttttttttttttttttttttttt
i don't know what else to say now ... My brain not functionin as usual today =..='

                                                 Haihhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

LoveQoutes for the day ~

I kinda squeezed my brain for this Braniac words !


=>Being dumped, taken for granted & hurt by someone they love is the reason why many people choose to flirt than to be in a relationship 


=>I'm not single, and I'm not taken. I'm simply on reserve for the one who deserves my heart. Cause they say good things take time.


=>Pride attracts the girl. Courage approaches the girl. Wisdom gets the girl. Strength puts up with the girl, but loyalty keeps the girl♥


=>I don't want a perfect relationship. I just want someone who I can act silly with, someone who treats me well and loves being with me.


=>I need a true guy. One who looks tough, but won't make me cry. And even when he's with his boys, he still says "Babe, hold my hand."


=>I do believe that simple things really matter because even a simple misunderstanding could ruin everything.


=>You don't have to be perfect to let somebody love you. Remember, being yourself is the best way to make somebody fall in love with you


=>We fear rejection, want attention, crave affection and dream of perfection.


=>“Are you ok?” “Yeah, I'm tired.” (T)orn apart, (I)nsecure, (R)eally faking my smile, (E)xtremely sad, (D)rowning in my tears.


=>It's sweet when someone knows every single detail about you. Not because you constantly remind them, but because they pay attention...


<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Gotta sumthin to share with ya'll ..

Okey2 ... here's the thing , i got this old time schoolmate name Z .. He's actually my Ex when im in form 3 lols seriously =_=
He asked for my number from my gurlfren name F ..She's also my old time schoolmate same with him .. We all in one class ... Ok F asked me if she can gave him my number to Z or not then i said ok just gave it to him ... So the day he got my number at night he texted me said "Hi" .. Started from that he keep on calling me at night and even he make his new facey account just to find me =_=
Sweet isn't it ?
I can see the different now .. Last time when i was with him .. He's kinda not talkative like this .. He's just rather smiling than sayin a word ..But now he can even make a joke with me =..=
Well that's a good sign rite ??
Btw .. He told me how he can suddenly remember about me .. The 1st thing he told me is he got a dream about me a day b4 he asked my number from F ... Starting from that ke was tryin to search for me ...
I don't know what should i feel bout this ya know ... Should i feel touched or just don't think bout it or just do like i don't give a fuck bout it ?
Im confused now ...
A lot of guy wanna asked me out with them but i don't know i just don't wanna give them hope ... Im not even sure myself either way ..
Just right now i wanna FLIRTING OFF my single status ... Get MNGLE with any guy that i like <3
I don't wanna get tight up with any relationship for now ..
But sometimes its true what people said that Being SINGLE is a good feeling, no drama, and no heartaches. But, sometimes it gets lonely and you miss that feeling of being taken...
That's exactly what i feel right now ... haihhhh~
he even called me SYG huhhuuu im supposed to be happy for this am i ....
Tapi .... Tapi alaaaa im a lil scared laa .. Who knows he just same like the rest ...
Hmmm... I don't even know if he like me or have sumthin at me ...
I can't just like jump to the conclusion sayin that he like me just because he called me HUNNY ...
Haihhh .. too much to take and too much to swallowed Its just TOO FUCKIN MUCH ! 
Why can't just life be a lil easy for me ?? Im so out of speech rite now ...
0_o

MY LOVE STORY

I meet this guy name Getsuda kankuro*not his real name .. He’s my Ex best friends (Krem) I know Getsuda thru my Ex .. when im still with my Ex(Krem) Getsuda is the one who convinced me that he’ll take care my relationship between me and krem … Easy to say he’s the one who’s always there to listen to all of my problem … he’s the one that I called right after I broke up with krem … Then after a few weeks after the breakup me and getsuda kinda lost contact … We just met on Facey … Then he came to college to settled down his PTPTN stuff and also he wanted to quit study … Then on 16 Disember 2010 he told me that he actually like me … then he asked me on a date … Until then we keep on IM-ing at facey almost evry night … and texting each other … After a few month later he rarely texted me … When he was online he didn’t even say ‘HI’ to me at all until all my gurlfren noticed and asked me ‘Why ur bf didn’t IM you or even posted sumthin to your wall?’ Im just nodded cos I don’t know what to say … On December 27 .. he met me at college cos he said that he got sumthin for me … So we met just for few hours .. He bought me a KITTY TEDDY from Lovely Lace … From that day he barely texted me anything … Even he planned to bring me fro hiking at Broga Hills but it’s all just all bein planned … He didn’t bring me there at all … He promised me but I guess I just have to forget bout it … Then evrytime he texted me he’ll sent me sumkind of breakup clue … ya know … His text that still have on my inbox is this ‘Syg. I tkut sngt. I tkut x bley jga you. I syg sngt kat you. I tkut you x bley trima I. Ye lah. I bz jer. I x sngja syg. I tngah pening skrang syg. I x taw apa nk jd dngn I. Msa dpan i. I slalu tgalkan you. X d masa nk jper you. I keliru. I kusut. I try nk jga hbngn nie. Tp I rasa lemah sngt. I x sgup tgok you trtunggu tunggu I mcm orang gler. Klau you rase xsenang dngn I juz kasi taw k. I kesian kat you. Sory.’

That’s it … If he truly love me he should know this before he asked me out … He decided to end this thing is on March 18 2011.. He sent me a break up text … Just like what krem did to me … Wow… 


Losing someone's trust is like crumbling up a piece of paper, even if you try to fix it, it will never be the same

The Pressure..

Well im almost graduate soon enuf ... and that makes me pretty scared cos i don't know what i should do after i graduated ... Where should i go ... Haihhh Im just scared ! Ok.. i have to take MUET exam to go to other U for degree ... Absolutely not at KLMU =P
I just wanna ACT i don't like to be director YET ... I just <3 acting..that is my passion since forever ...
I wanna achieve what i want .. Acting at HOLLYWOOD .. yep i know you might be thinkin im nut and it is IMPOSSIBLE .. but i don't care as long as i believe in myself .. Nothin is IMPOSSIBLE as long as you BELIEVE ... That's wht my dad always remind me ... I know my dad always supported me no matter wht ..
At 1st my mom would not let me takin the course that im takin now.. but i insisted that this is what i wanna do .. This is what i like and this is my passion ..Then she just can say nothin bout that .. hahaha
If not she askin me to take culinary arts ==' i told her im sucks in it.. But until now she just keep on make me feel guilty takin that course ==' but it doesn't matter .. it's my life .. it's ok if im suffer now.. thinkin how the heck im goin to pay my PTPTN money .. 24k++ .. Lots i know .. well KLMU wht more can i say .. YOU SUCK ! that's all .. Haihh we'll see laa how it is .. i don't like to plan .. Seriously i just like ~Go with the flow~ thats my style .. 


Expectations make people miserable, so whatever yours are, lower them. You'll definitely be happier.

This is one of my short film that i get involved ..Im the one who's bein raped in it ... hahaha




Life is not about how many times you fall down. It's about how many times you get back up." - Jaime Escalante