I have to find 2,450k for resit my exam papers .. I have failed 3 papers in one semester .. I still can even laugh bout it ... i don't know what else to do , seriously i can't put my mom in this messed .. she'll pissed off like a volcano if she found out ! I have no place to turn to now ... it's like i have to settle it on my own ... I used to think it's jst better if i cuttin myself again cos honestly im scared ... I can't go on .. Im stuck you get it ! i can't graduate if i didn't resit my papers ... Why all these happen to me !!! i had so much trouble in my entire life and seriously i can't take it ... it's jst better if i die ya know .. I already caused so much trouble to my mom and i don't want her to go thru it again ... Im jst her burden ! I even have no dad to asking for help ... I have no place to turn to and i obviously don't know what should i do now ... I jst need some Miracle to happen like 1k fallin from the sky or a billionaire willing to help me ='( ... that would be so much helpful .
Im goin insane if these things keep on happenin ... i could check in the mental hosp for mental breakdown ...
I don't know how i can survive till now ... Goin thru my life is not so pleasant ... Nothin much good happens in it ... All i can list out is all the painful stuff that happened in the past and present ... But i know somehow my dad would be lookin down from Up there and probably he sayin " I know my daughter is strong enough to go thru every obstacles that comes on her way .. I have my faith in her ! I know she can pass it .. She will be jst fine " but i don't know how .. how to handle this .. I've made a messed ! Im scared .. Im scared if she finds out and ............................... I'll be dead meat !!!!! I jst wish if and only if i can turn back time and redo all my mistakes ... i think Sometimes all I can do is lay down, and cry myself to sleep, I'm okay with that...
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