hey it's been a looooooooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnggggggggggggggggg time since the last time i wrote in here ... It's amiazing how i still remember the p/w for my blog cos i didn't open it like AGES !
Okay yesterday was his mom birthday and i did wished her tho ... Lotsa thang goin on in my life right now ... for example like i moved out from my mom house and stayed at my own rented house , still single and still stick around with that dude (you know who) . hurmm my mom hates me cos i left her ... i don't know , its all seems MISERABLE to me tho ... Nothin seems to get better .. i can say NONE of it !
Well , what more can i say "JUST GO THRU IT" right .. or else make a back up plan and bring your ass off from that scene ~____~
Lately i find that people are easy saying that their sorry for somethin that they did but then they'll do it all over again i mean they'll repeat the same mistakes that their sorry for ... Then what's exaxctly the ir purpose of saying "I'm sorry"? i don't really get this kinda concept ya know , it's like their abusing that privilege !
I wonder why today's life doesn't same as the oldies movies ???? Atleast people back then know how to appreciate things , love for real and take relationship seriously and most important thing is they know how to treat their girl right ...
In my case , it's a totally different stories ... The main point here is that Commitment ... He can't commit to a relationship cos he said that he's not ready ... Okay , i accepted that but when we broke up , he's fooling around with any bitches at that college ~____~ ... well tell me which girl who won't feel jealous with that shit
? You tell me ...
Plus the girls that he's been playing with is a total ASSHOLE BITCH no offence but she do acted like one !
WHAT THE HELL right ? i know ... i know i feel the same way too ... But what can i do .. He's not with me anymore ... we're nothin but just a two person hanging out together plus with other benefit thang that we do ...
YUP it's hurts like hell when he did this same thing all over again when every time he said that he's SORRY all you can do is a BLUNT FACE cos you don't know if you can believe him or not ... i wanna believe him but , it's already too many time he do this ... Sorry after another sorry ... Hard to believe if he'll never gonna do it again you know ...
We kinda had a fight this afternoon ... i went out from his house while he's out to college .. I saw some unwanted to watch/read prove that he and that bitch has been chatting around all these while ...
I was SHOCKED .. Big one ... i had this "Jaw Droppin" for a moment ... i kinda felt like my heart fall off from it's place ... Can you imagine what i felt that time ??
PLus he used to kiss her !! So basically when i kissed him , i kissed her ... YUCKKK !!! Fuckin YUCK ! i hate that bitch .. A LOT
I kinda not understand this whole concept ... Sometimes i asked my own self if ..
* Did i didn't give him all
* Is it enough what i do to him
* Am i not pretty
* Is he getting bored with me
* Blahh blah blahhh
For me , i think that what i've done to him is more that enough and i think no one could do what i did for him all these while .... Let me list out part of what i did for him that nobody couldn't do ..
* Im the one who's there when he's in difficulties (Anythin)
* Im willing to risk my life just to spent time with him at his hostel ...
* I was there when nobody does
** I DO BASICALLY EVERYTHIN
IS THIS THANG STILL NOT ENOUGH ???
I don't know what else should i do or give to him to make him realize that I LOVE HIM more than anyone else
I just can't think right now ... my heart is broken and it hurts like hell !!!!
and I HATE THIS !
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