May 2012

There's a lot happened to me in this fuckin month ... I almost get raped at PM hostel ~_~ 
It's all because of the one person that LOVE to cari pasal with me .. I don't know what's up with her 0.o


But the point here is he's change a lot ... well he told me that the girl that he falls in love already in relationship so it makes me thinkin if im only his Second Choice or just his Backup Plan ??
When that girl kinda layan him , he ignored me GILA2 ... He doesn't even care what i feels at that time ... I still remember everything .. the way he treated me , the way he talked to me .. it all seems IGNORING me ...
i can felt that ... Now when she's in relationship , he turns back to be diffierent ! He started bein the one that takes care of me , worried about me , call me up , texted me up , kiss me , cubit my pipi , kiss my cheeks infornt of everybody ... What is goin on ???!


He said that he doesn't want any relationship for now ... He said that he doesn't want to hurt me anymore like what he had done before ... Okay i get it ... He said if we're  meant to be together we will be one day ...
For now we're both still that close , together but no relationship .. I don't know what are we ... It's not like Friends with Benefit cos we're not friends ! i can see him as a friends cos i love him .. and he same as me either .. so honestly i don't know what kinda relationship that we're IN right now ... I don't know what to expect from this kinda situation ... 


I really-really don't wanna lose him ... i can't be without him ... 
Baby , please don't .. please don't leave me will ya ? 
Cos you're my heartbeat .. and my heart would stop without ya ... i can't bare to lose you ..
Even how many times i've tried to leave you , NONE of them works !!
So i'll stay here waiting for you ... cos im sure that you're the one for me ...

Ermmm ....

I've taken off his necklace ....
Cos he taken off our charm bracelet that i never like opne it since the day i bought it at Genting Highland ...
But lately he's treated me kinda a bit different .. Last time i checked he like never kiss me on my cheeks like he did today infornt of his frend KOI ...
He lately suka cubit my cheeks =__= like last time ...
huhuu what had happen to him actually ... ???!
but eventhough i didnt wear his necklace i hope that ONE DAY he'll PUT IT BACK ... on my neck ...
I really2 LOVE HIM ... HUrmm ..

There comes a time when u have to choose between turning the page or just closing the book

That's the cue for me ... 
I can't hold someone that love someone else .. he just consider me as his Best Friends ... I thought that imma be okay with that but ... i guess im not OKAY ... i can't bare to hear all his heart pouring about how he feels towards her ... It HURTS like hell to hear all that stuff -.-'
Does he knows how painfull is that ?? haihhh~
He doesn't even care what i feel so why should i care about what he feels right ???!
This is sooo CRUEL !
Hurmmm ....
I don't know why i still wanna hold on to this kinda boy -.- seriously i feel STUPID ...
He doesn't love me at all ! He already stop tryin to love me and now im not more than his FRIENDS ... That's sad to know and harder to accept that fact =_='
WHY IS HAVE TO BE THIS HURT ???!
I HATE THIS FEELINGS !!!